He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
