This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The adults are the big ones right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
