Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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