I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't put those talents on a resume
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
