There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
