dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
