Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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