I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
