Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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