Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
