I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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