Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
