I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
