I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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