my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's shark week go big or go home
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
