We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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