ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
