I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
