grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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