just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
BRING THE BAGELS
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
