apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
