I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
