I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
