I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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