i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
