shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
