You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hippo gnu deer
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
