I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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