its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
