She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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