I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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