I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
