We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
