Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My ass is underappreciated
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize