why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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