You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
