dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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