Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
