I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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