Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
