so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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