well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
