Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
