the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
