Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
