Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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