He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
