a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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