My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
