just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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