moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
