It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
