Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
