Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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